It was a bright, beautiful day, the first day that felt like spring. One of my favorite things about spring is it always reminds me of new life and a fresh start.
This particular morning I had my heart set on getting done with all my weekend chores so I could spend time with my wife and dog hiking in the mountains. I was excited to try out my new day hiking pack and also we had recently bought Zissou, our dog, his very own hiking pack, so we didn’t get stuck carrying all his water and food.
A Bark and A Woosh
As I was making my breakfast, I looked down at my feet to see Zissou sunbathing in front of our storm door window. Happy as can be or bored out of his mind, I can never really tell what dogs are thinking I always assume they are happy as long as they know they will be getting food at some point.
I made my way to my big overly broken in, brown recliner to read a book while enjoying my cheesy scrambled eggs. As I was enjoying my second bite of eggs, I heard Zissou start barking; soon after that, I the sound of the storm door flying open and crash shut.
I could hear Z’s incessant barking growing fainter as he ran after a new sound or smell. “You got to be kidding me.” I got up from my recliner. “All I wanted to do was enjoy my breakfast.”
I grabbed a bag of dog treats that was sitting on the counter and ran outside rustling the treat bag calling his name. He looked back at me for a moment, as if to say, “Nah, this is much better” and continued into the woods chasing what I assumed to be a flock of turkeys.
Running to the woods I realized I would not make it too far into the woods with no shoes on, so I headed back to the house to finish my book and enjoy what was left of my breakfast, knowing he would eventually come back.
The train whooshed by outside, it jolted my memory that it had been ten minutes and still no sign or sound of Zissou.
A Brown Tarp
I grabbed my pair of running shoes and headed to the woods with a bag of treats and leash in hand. As I made my way into the woods, I was calling Z’s name. I stopped and listed for a moment. Hoping to hear him bark or even the jingling of his collar. I heard nothing.
Off in the distance, I heard some gobbling over by the road. I made my way to the sound. As I drew nearer to the edge of the woods I came upon a stream bed that was too wide to cross. I had to turn back.
I would have to get in my car and see what I could see from the road. As I made my way back out of the woods, I tripped over an old barbed wire fence and pulled several ticks off me, which added to my ever increasing frustration with the situation.
Driving slowly along the edge of the road I heard the sound of gobbling. I quickly stopped the car. Comming out of the woods was a pair of turkeys, but no Zissou. My heart sank. My frustration was turning to worry at this point.
I drove a little longer, about a mile, and realized that there is a turn off up ahead. That would allow me to walk the railroad track and get a better view into the woods.
I got out of my car and started running down the tracks calling Zissou’s name; there was a new sound of hope in my voice. As I made my way down the tracks, I saw off in the distance a brown tarp on the tracks that must have fallen off of one of the train cars.
As I got closer to the tarp, I looked up and saw my house. I was practically in my backyard. There was no sign of Z in the woods. I turned my sights on the brown tarp.
“It couldn’t be,” I thought. “No that doesn’t make any sense he has never been on the tracks before.” As I made my way closer, about 15 yards away, my heart filled with hope. It was just some odd object in the tracks. I took a few more strides, and my heart sank. It wasn’t a tarp, and it wasn’t a foreign object.
It was a dog struck down. But the face was all black, Z had tan on his face. “But what are the odds,” I thought. I saw his paws; they were tan, Z’s were tan, but the dog had no collar; Z had a green collar. I looked up, and 10 feet to the left of me lying on the tracks was a green collar. I knelt down holding the broken, mangled collar in my hands. I wept.
Don’t Blink
My mind was brought to the edge. I stood there between the present and the vastness that is the eternal unknown. I so badly wanted to understand the unknown, the whys, the hows, the I-should-haves. But they are all empty what-ifs.
And all you are left with is the present.
Life is short and fleeting. Life is made more precious in the light of loss. And knowing there is an end brings urgency to the moment we currently inhabit.
Show and tell your loved ones you love them every chance you get. Rejoice in today just because you have another moment.
