4 Takeaways from 2019

2019 has just about come and gone. Like every year, there were moments of joy and moments of, “I don’t think I can keep doing this.” 

It is incredible how quickly we forget both the good and the bad and how much we have grown. 

That is why I take the time each year to reflect on some of the high points of the past year; if I don’t, they will soon be forgotten in the quickly aging swiss cheese vault of memories that is my head.  

First Quarter: Unplug 

I have never been on a cruise before, but this year was the year. All you can eat, drink, and people watch. Now that’s what I call a vacation. 

That was not even the best part. 

The best part was I had no cellphone service for one whole week. No calls (no one ever calls these days, not a problem), texts, emails, or social media. 

I was able to unplug from the word of 24/7 distraction and garbage sifting (this is how I feel when I scroll the FB). I was free to let my mind wander with thoughts and people watching… “how did that man fit into that bathing suit?”. “Should I be eating this post-breakfast, breakfast burrito?”. 

The answers: IDK, but it had to involve a quart of premium motor oil and, hell, yes! 

I have thought a lot this year about ways to unplug other than leaving the country more often. 

Top Three Ways to Unplug Without Leaving The Country or Committing A Jailable Offense:

• Go for a walk without your phone
• Wake up before other people do (If you have friends texting you before 7 AM, you need new friends) 
• Turn off your phone and computer for the weekend and tell the people that are important to you to contact your spouse if there is an emergency

Second Quarter: Double It 

Whatever it is, double it; it will save you a lot of disappointment down the road. 

How many calories in this cookie? 100? 150? Double it; there are 300. 

How much is this house project going to cost? 15k? 20k? Think closer to 40k. 

How long is it going to take me to hit my goal? Three months? Four? Plan for eight months. 

2019 has been the year of doubling. I thought I would be down a coworker for one month, tops. Nope, try three months. I thought my wife would be without work for a few weeks. Nope, try four, plus another three months to find a job that didn’t give her the case of the Mondays every day of the week. I thought it would cost 15k for a new kitchen; I should have doubled it. 

There are so many little steps you overlook. It is not your fault; you can’t predict everything until you are in it. The mountain doesn’t look that tall until you are at the base and staring up at the top. 

Research shows that when you have a building project, most estimates are off by 20% or more. How many of us add that 20% to the cost? 

We are optimistic in trials and when dreaming up goals and ideas. Keep dreaming and being optimistic, but double the amount of time, effort, and setbacks along the way. 

Your future self will thank you. 

Third Quarter: Nothing Lives Within A Vacuum 

A sermon I listened to this year had a line that stuck out to me: “You can’t read the Bible in a vacuum.” 

Life doesn’t happen in a vacuum, a space that is perfect or separate from the rest of life. No, life takes place in a messy world where nature, people, and emotions can easily change your plans, feelings, and life. 

The more I read, the more vacuum statements I find — statements of absolutes. I know why people say or write these types of statements; they show confidence and simplicity. 

“If you don’t buy junk food, then you will not be tempted to eat it when you are home.”

This statement is true. You will have created a safe space if you don’t allow junk food in your house. But you are assuming a lot about the situation. Do you live alone? Or do you have people in your shared space that are on the same page as you when it comes to eating habits? 

The steps are never as easy as the statement. 

In one of my posts this year, I wrote: “to be successful, you have to do the basics every day.” 

True? Yes. Easy? No. 

But before you use that as your mantra, there are a few things to consider. You first have to find what the basics are and make sure every day you have the mental space to perform them. If you don’t, you will have to learn the art of sucking it up because no one cares about your problems outside your therapist and maybe your mom (but chances are she is sick of hearing about them). Oh, and how I measure success is most likely completely different than how you measure it.  

No, it doesn’t read as well when you add in all those steps. 

When you hear a vacuum statement, it is your job to unpack it and figure out how to make it work in your messy vacuum-less life. Because if you don’t, it will just be a head nod, and then you’ll move on. 

Fourth Quarter: Who Am I

Are you the person you want to be? Do you even know what you want to be? 

I recently read a line that stuck with me: “you are a compilation of your habits.” You are what you do. 

I had to stop and think; is what I am doing every day bringing me closer or further away from who I want to be? And if my actions aren’t bringing me closer, then what I am? 

If I want to be a great writer but don’t write, I am not a writer. If I want to teach people and help coaches coach but never step on stage or line up speaking events, then I am not a teacher. If I never think of what my wife might want first, then I am not thoughtful, loving husband. 

Before you can begin to change your habits, you have to figure out what you want to become. Like most people, you probably find yourself doing what is easy and comfortable, but that is not necessarily what is best for your goals. To become the person you want to be, you have to practice being that person every day.

If I want to be a great writer, I need to look at other writers. What do they do? They write everyday, submit work. Am I doing that? 

I want to have a great marriage. What do great marriages have? Communication, anticipating others’ needs, sacrificial love. Do I practice those things? 

Find out what you want, then try it on. 

Thank you, 2019, for the great memories, the learning opportunities, and the mountains I had to climb to get to where I am now. 

Your Fitness Sherpa