Ok, I have a client who just ran her longest distance ever in a race, who added 15 lbs to her sled push, so she’s now shoving 215 down the turf and who keeps getting stronger each week but she shared with me that she hopped on the scale and saw a number that totally bummed her out.
This immediately took away all the pride and positive energy she’d been feeling about her accomplishments of late and set her into a thought pattern of “I need to work harder, I need to go back to eating those little frozen diet meals, what else can I do..that number sucks”.
So wow! What do I do with that? With one second of stepping on a flawed instrument, her self-image went in the toilet.
She’s not alone. Lots of people are obsessed with how they look, always checking their reflection in a mirror or store windows, seeing imperfections that no one but them would notice, or like my client above, constantly checks their weight on a scale and whatever number comes up will rule their day?
Do I need to say that this is not healthy?
I don’t even want to add in the effects that the media, advertising, society and even my own industry contribute to this issue. No wonder people struggle with how they see themselves, when they feel as if surrounded by a world of people with flawless skin and six pack abs. Oftentimes it’s women that struggle with this, but it also can be a problem for guys – we want to look good too. Check the covers of the men’s magazines – they clearly tell us if we look good, we’ll well, you know..
While I could keep going here, I recognize there is no easy fix to this. I know I can’t change how marketers market for sex does sell. What I can do is give you another way to see yourself, one not based solely on that damn digital number.
The Problem
Let’s start at the root of the problem. There are three major reasons someone will join a gym:
- To look and feel better
- Athletic performance and injury prevention
- Social
That’s about it and for most it’s a combination of all of these factors.
The biggest factor is the first one: “to look and feel better”. Here is where the problem lies. That sounds like a very admirable goal but if “to look better” is what’s driving you vs. “to feel better”, you are without a doubt going to use the image you see in the mirror every morning before stepping into the shower and the number you see on the scale as the only measures of your progress.
Why? Why, do we hold that number on the scale in such high regard over any other measure of our level of fitness? And yeah, I get the looking in the mirror but do we have to do it every day?
Here is my beef with the two.
The scale is a demoralizing way to measure your goal of looking better. In a given week your weight can change five to ten pounds. Due to time of day, what you ate, water consumption, if your birthday is at the beginning of a month or at the end, what phase the moon is in that night, and so forth.. 
So many people get pissed off and brought down by the number on that scale. So, if the scale is a shoddy way to measure progress, why use it? Besides if you always get down on yourself after stepping on, why do it? Give yourself permission to accept the fact that it is not the best measure of your progress and quit doing that to yourself. I hereby give you permission to do this!
As for the mirror, if every morning you look at yourself shirtless and you start nit picking the look of your belly, your arms, your butt, whatever area you are not happy with and you start your day feeling bad, what’s the point of the hard work you’ve been putting in? So you’re not perfect? Really, who is? So again, quit being so hard on yourself!
Here is a little secret, if you are working hard, you are making progress but the changes won’t be seen overnight. So quit trying to see it each morning. Instead, savor the compliments you will undoubtedly receive from the people who don’t see you every day. They are the ones that can see your progress!
Bottom line – Take a break from the mirror.
A Better Way
Dare I say, there’s a better way? It starts with tossing the scale out and not using the mirror as a scale for looks (you also could toss the mirror away but that’s not realistic – you do need to make sure you’ve not got stuff in your teeth).
Here’s the answer. It starts with setting non weight-based goals.
Examples: Body Fat Percentage, measurements, pants and shirt sizes, before and after photos (every three months), just to give you a few ideas.
After you have a goal, you need to get your mind straight. What does that mean? Well to start, there is no magic pill or routine or diet that will get you results in a day or a week. Right now, quit looking at cleanses, special supplements, counting points and so forth. For it to be permanent, it won’t happen quickly. Your goal will take time. So plan realistically. Realize that you will not see progress immediately, understand there will be setbacks and challenges, but all along the way, know the end result will be worth it. 
I can’t say it enough -don’t check your progress every day. If you do, you will not see it. It is much better to check every six to eight weeks. Checking too often will lead to frustration and you may end up giving all together. That is why before and after photos are so great, you may not realize how much progress you have made until you see where you were six months ago compared to where you are now.
Lastly, looking good and feeling good comes down to how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. If you have a negative outlook on how you look and feel then you will never be happy with what you see in the mirror, and the number you see on the scale will never be low enough for you.
Next time you look in the mirror, don’t nitpick, and just tell yourself how great you look. Start the day off right with self-confidence and satisfaction with who you are.
Much Love
