There is something honorable about setting a goal and then doing everything you can to reach that goal. We look up to people that say they are going to be successful entrepreneurs, or athletes, or even people setting out to lose 20lbs and end up doing what they set out to do.
We all know that setting goals are good. It leads to focused success, it sets up a road map toward something we believe will add move value to our lives, or make our lives better, or somehow more meaningful or enjoyable.
There is nothing wrong with that. If a goal was going to lead to suffering and detract from quality of life, I don’t think any of us would say that is a good or worthwhile goal.
Here’s the thing people forget. Have you ever taken the time to truly think what happens when you achieve your hard-earned goal? Not just “I lost 20lbs and can fit into some pants”, or “I earned a promotion at work and now I have some more money”. Have you thought about how you will feel once you’ve arrived at your goal?
Far too often we set goals thinking they will lead to a greater happiness, but we never thoroughly imagine how we will feel when we meet our goal. Let’s say you get a promotion at work. You now have more money and can afford a vacation with your family. But, with the promotion, you also have more responsibilities which take up more of your time, making it just as hard to get away for a vacation as it was when you didn’t have as much money. So, the real goal was never to make more money and take on more responsibility, it was to have more money and more free time. A better goal would have been to track your spending and find where you could save money.
As for weight loss, when we hit our weight loss goal we expect people to think about and look at us in a better light. Hell, we hope that we will think more highly of ourselves. If you have hit your weight loss goal and are not ecstatic, then was the goal ever really about weight loss?
No, the goal was about self-image. Weight loss fixes health problems, allows you to fit into smaller clothes, and takes stress off your joints. These things can make you happy, but if the real goal is a better self-image, then you picked an incomplete solution.
Sure, health and fitness are a part of the solution, but to truly see yourself as beautiful and to be comfortable with yourself, you need to start focusing on the positive parts of yourself and your body. This will lead to a better self-image and yes, it will be hard and yes, it may even be slow, but if self-image is at the root of your goal, then weight loss and exercise are only a small part of the solution.
The solution to your problem may not be the obvious choice. Take the time to imagine yourself in the moment when you achieve your goal: how do you feel, did it fix anything? If not, you need to better figure out what you want the outcome to fix.
Giving you the tools to succeed,
Josh W
