When the word improv comes across your mental radar, the first thing that comes to mind, without question, has to be the TV show Whose Line Is It Anyway. If you thought of something different, well, you are wrong.
But I forgive you.
Improv is nothing special; it is what we do every day when we interact with people. Improv comes more naturally to us when we are talking to people we are familiar with, such as friends, family, long time acquaintances that you met in summer camp back when you were eleven. Ok, maybe that last example wasn’t the best one, but you get the gist of it.
Improv is best seen when you are interacting with someone new or when you are talking about an unfamiliar subject.
Here are three tips I learned from my improv class that you can use in everyday situations.
Read the situation
Your ability to read the situation and the person, to get as much possible information about where the person is in that moment, is a great skill to have in your back pocket. It will also help you not look like an ass.
For Example:
If a person walks into a room, shoulders slumped, eyes darting, you could guess that this person is unsure or not comfortable with their new surroundings. In this case, I would not want to run up to this person and yell happily, “Hey, what can I do for you!?”
No, in this instance you need to approach the person with a calmer, more caring tone of voice.
With coaching, if a client is having a bad day, don’t try and ignore that fact by coming across as super happy and life is a bunch of gum drops; they’re having a bad day, don’t ignore that. Meet them where they’re at and try and understand their situation.
Take a leap of faith
Nothing happens without someone making the first move. This could be at work, at a party, or any other place where people may gather. Talking to someone new doesn’t come naturally for everyone. There is a fear that you may say something that makes you look like an ass. There is a chance that the person you are trying to converse with doesn’t want to play along.
If they are being an antisocial Andy, that’s ok. They can be that way; I am just going to move on. I never liked Andy anyway, his loss.
What stops us from talking is our great desire to want to control the situation, so we know exactly what to expect and hedge our bets against disappointment. We overthink the situation.
“I want to be social but I don’t know what to say”.
A good tip I learned is to start walking towards someone and by the time you get to them you will have something to say. Or you will look extremely odd. I like to make sure the person I’m walking toward is standing in front of food and if by the time I reach them I don’t have anything to say, then I would be like, “Oh, sorry, I know it may have looked like I was going to converse with you but I just really wanted some cheese and crackers.”
Don’t over think what you’re going to say, just say what comes to mind, like, “what brings you here this fine day?”, or, “I am not trying to hit on you, but have you found the bathroom in this place yet?”
Just don’t over think it.
Be agreeable
The best way to ruin a conversation is to say “no” or phrases like “um yeah, I don’t think so”. Or just coming across as snarky and uppity would go a long way in preventing any conversation.
When working with clients it is important to establish a base relationship. I may have different political views or cheer for a different sports team, but in an early relationship, debating does not often grow the heart fonder.
Saying “yes” does not necessarily mean you agree and are backing what the other person says. Sometimes yes just means I understand, I see your point.
Agreeability is the lubrication to any new relationship; it helps keep friction away.
Keep these three tips in mind next time you are working with someone new or find yourself at a social gathering. Remember, read the situation, don’t over think, and be agreeable.
Josh W
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